Erectile dysfunction: the experience of victims

The erectile dysfunction affect nearly one in three men after 40 years. And despite the deterioration of their quality of life and harmony of their marriage, they are few in number to talk to their doctor. Between unsaid, frustrations and sacrifices, what are the obstacles to the consultation? A survey allows us to draw the portrait of the timid who do not cure ...

According to French studies, we count up to 32% of men over 40 years affected by erectile dysfunction. But among them, few dare visit. And those who manage to push the door of the doctor, are usually after several months of unspoken ... On average, elapse between 6 months and 2 years before breaking the silence.

The obstacle course
To learn more about the personal story of these men, the Louis Harris Institute1 attempted to draw a portrait of these men through 40 interviews. Among men who have not passed the consultation, two very distinct profiles, two pathways appear close ... Let's call them John and Michael.

 
John saw a couple of quiet story based on compromise but the dialogue is difficult

He thinks that with age, libido fades and commonplace these early failures

Sexuality contributes to the harmony of the couple and to the satisfaction of his partner

 He downplayed the first failure but suffers from erectile dysfunction since 7 years

John is uncomfortable vis-à-vis its partner and is ready to end these problems by overcoming his shyness, talking with his partner and go see a doctor

He needs the help of his wife, information on support
 
 
 Michael has built a relationship of torque over a disappointment, but love there is an important

It attaches great place to sexuality that contributes to its equilibrium

The first outages were a shock but he finally gives his emotional instability and a general malaise

For 4 years, he minimizes his sexual failures and think their problem is solving itself

He claims that this has no impact on his life as a couple and seems to have made the grief of a satisfying sex life

Fear of treatment, general mistrust vis-à-vis drugs ... It pushes the consultation to the distant future
 
 Even if one seemed inclined to take his sexuality in hand, both need to be reassured, listened and most informed about the frequency of this problem and the solutions available.

By broadening the debate beyond the simple experience of these men, one wonders what influence society on these disorders.

A frustrated society?

Sociologist and expert on sexuality, Frederic Monneyron believes that the company may have an effect on the emergence of erectile dysfunction of psychological origin. It provides a surprising conclusion: "A general mistrust between the sexes has been permanently installed and, in parallel, a sexual desire that is lowered are the characteristics of our societies". He said raising the cultural level of women, the disrepute of male desire viewed as violent and demeaning, the heritage of the AIDS link sexuality to death and pervasiveness of pornographic images now offer a cocktail originally some men ... A complex vision that is sure to make your hair stand on his head convinced feminists or chauvinists triumphant!

However, one can wonder about the ubiquity of representations of sexuality in the media. By widening the gap between the excesses in the image and the problems of sexuality in everyday life, it could contribute to the birth ofa vicious circle guilty. Fear of failure causing the outage and vice versa ...

Train the vicious circle!
Six months to two years before consulting ... During this time, man will have ample time to try to adapt to a situation while aggravating. "During this period, he may use various tricks to recreate and believers in him a desire intact but these devices are most often lures that only aggravate the problem and further away from its partner" reflects Dr. Antoine Lemaire, president of the Association for the development of information and research on sexuality (Adir). Faced with repeated failures, the man will develop a range of avoidance behaviors that can affect the harmony of the couple.

To avoid falling into that dreaded climbing, early consultation can sometimes be beneficial.

The first consultation
"The first consultation with a specialist dealing with sexual problems is for many patients the ultimate challenge that marks the end of an assault course" reflects Dr. Antoine Lemaire. To break the taboo on erectile dysfunction, ADIRS innovated by offering for the first time a television campaign on the subject.

Pending the possible impact of this initiative, Dr. Lemaire admits that "Often the first consultation takes place only when the situation became unbearable partly because of resentment that may well level of impact relationship. The assumption at this point is mainly based on empathy and listening.

In terms of treatment, real progress has been achieved over the past years. Also, before sinking into the sexual frustration, we can only recommend the men who suffer from blackouts to consult.

 

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