Ladies, help him up the slope!

Stress, emotion, depression, fatigue ... Many things can cause sexual failures. But faced with this "doomsday scenario", how to help his partner? How to respond?

According to a Louis Harris survey *, one in four women has been faced with erectile dysfunction during sexual life. Sometimes affected in their femininity, it does not always know how to react.

Between altruism and machismo ...
The gender breakdown is experienced by man as a catastrophe, a terrible devaluation. Exposed to the beloved, he can not conceal the object of her distress. Unlike the sexual imagery of women covering their entire bodies, men construct their masculine identity around their phallus. This narrow vision gives a breakdown sometimes disproportionate impact.

Must mean we caricature the young man just as obsessed with sex and its performance? No, it seems instead that the ego has lived! For 40% of men interviewed, what affects them most at the breakdown has not power to give pleasure to their partner.

Should we do see a benevolent altruism? Not necessarily, according to Dr. Philippe Brenot "This reaction can also be analyzed as a burst of narcissism in giving pleasure to my partner, is the manly image I have of me that is valued.

Faced with this situation of distress, the partner is often helpless. Firstly, it should be noted that sexual failure is absolutely not synonymous with a lack of desire. Sometimes quite the opposite, too much emotion kills erection. So ladies, it is often useless to blame or feel hurt in your femininity.

The partner, a privileged interlocutor
Whatever the real reason the sake of giving pleasure stresses the importance of the other sex. Thus, for three out of four men in the interlocutor failure remains a partner. Especially since the failure of erection can be a manifestation of a problem within the couple. Tensions can resurface unexpectedly under the duvet ... so try to break the ice before his eagerness not based ...

Be careful not to fall into a version too angelic either: 13% of men have tried to "reassure" in initiating a relationship with another partner ...

The modern woman: castrating or compassionate?
But this partner much talked about, is it compassionate or castrating? According to the survey, most women responded positively (68%) or did not seem to care (21%). Only 11% had a negative attitude. "This is too, for this attitude encourages the installation of the disorder. The young men are strongly sensitive to reciprocity in the relation to them, sexual fulfillment takes two to tango," says Dr. Brenot.

"The role of the modern emancipated woman is a double edged sword" says he. "More assertive in his desires and more active in the relationship, it generates less frustrating, but its requirement for sexual ideal and makes it almost inaccessible castrating.

Man suffers and some apprehension in the opinion of another. More than half of men surveyed considered as well as women are becoming more demanding in love when they say they are more timid. And those perceptions are even more pronounced among men facing failure ...

How to revive the machine?
So what attitude to adopt a partner? Firstly, it must raise anxiety without minimizing the problem is in the eyes of man highly important. It is important to establish a dialogue either too sympathetic or too incriminating who can forget "the incident". The risk is to make this an exceptional event about which anxiety is a vicious circle: fear of failure - insufficient erection.

Needless to plague at all costs. Your imagination and a few caresses or massages will arouse in him new erogenous zones and will help you discover a whole new sexual pleasures beyond penetration.

 

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