Talking simply about sex

On the eve of a tour of unpublished information on disorders of sexuality organized by the Association for the development of information and research on sexuality (Adir) in partnership with the Lilly laboratories, a survey has Ifop allowed to decode the sexuality of French1.

Men and women: the same love of desires, but different
It is customary to say that carnal love or platonic maddens the senses. But what sense does this one? It seems that men and women do not seek the same manner, thus leaving different desires.

If touch is most important for both sexes (87%), the view reveals two times higher for men (53%) than women (27%). "We know that men have more sexual space that is to say why the view is something important. Women can appreciate a man is beautiful, but it rarely makes it up their libido "said Dr. Sylvain Mimoun gynecologist andrologist in Paris.

But if women are less "visual", they are much more sensitive to smell, hearing, or more generally to the gradual rise of desire. They attach more importance and sharing a good meal (61% women, 46% for men), scents and smells of their partner (88% for women, 86% for men) .. . In case of decrease of desire, women often put forward that they did not "have time to envy, their partners are increasingly requesting it. "What a woman asks to have the desire, space and time: complicity, sharing good times will prepare to put in a position of desire," explains Dr. Sylvain Mimoun2.

Disorders of sexuality are taboo
But sometimes, love is far from a tranquil river ... and many couples experiencing some problems with sexuality. Disorders of desire are reported by more than half of respondents (53%), followed difficulty to have fun (39%), problems with erection (31%), premature ejaculation (30%) or simulation of the partner (20%).

Do not confuse erectile dysfunction and decreased desire

Be careful not to confuse low desire and erectile dysfunction. Often confused with man drop down to desire and erection. Both the decrease of desire is very common in women, as one of Problems No. 1 in men is erectile dysfunction, which is not the same as the decrease in desire.

Men are twice as many (40%) than women (21%) admit to having met with erectile dysfunction in their marriage. "This does not mean that man speaks more easily than women, on the contrary! This discrepancy mainly shows a man who has a" semi-failure "erection considers this as a failure even if the report occurred while the woman not given importance "said Dr Marie-Hélène Colson, sexologist in Marseille.

And if these problems are hampering the sexual life and quality of life as a whole, the consultation is the first step toward healing. According to Dr Colson: "In the case of erectile dysfunction, it is a pity to let the situation deteriorate, given the resources we have today to find a solution. Hoping to go it alone, pay dearly for it in psychic energy. "

Contrary to what one might think, erectile dysfunction does not appear among the most taboo in marriage. Conversely, 47% of French believe the decline in the attraction to his partner as sexual difficulties most difficult to address. "It combines the absence of envy with the absence of love, while they are two separate things really. If one says to his partner that they did not want the other means" I don ' did not want you "that's where the problems are," explains Dr. Sylvain Mimoun2.

Dare to talk about whether sex is a problem
But to turn to when the problem becomes a trifle? For a majority of French (54%), the interlocutor is the partner. Then the doctor (45%), particularly for men who declare themselves much more willing (55%) than women (36%) turning to a health professional.

But these figures do they reflect reality? Dr. Marie-Hélène Colson says that "For a long time when speaking for example erectile dysfunction, studies indicate that men say they want to talk about their problems to their doctor. But in fact, they are not. And when they come, they generally expect that the doctor discusses the subject "2.

A study conducted in 20093 and reported that:

36% of men and 38% of women do not consult because they considered their sexual problem is not serious;
14% of men and 13% of women think that the doctor can do nothing for them or that their problem is not medical;
Finally, 2.5% men and 5% of women feel uncomfortable to discuss sexual problems with their doctor.
But for those whose sexuality problems have an impact on quality of life, solutions exist. And the fate or age appear today as an excuse. For more than 8 out of 10 French (83%) believe that there is no age at which one ceases to love. So to live your passion, do not let problems undermine your quality of life, solutions exist.

 

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